In training

I find it funny (not really) that a google search for survival tips on getting through your first year of graduate school in a science program yields very little result on how to actually "survive" grad school, while there is an almost scary abundance of information out there on the specifics of how to get in a PhD program.

This blog isn't meant to be a survival guide comprised with bullet points of magic tips that will make your life better. It is meant to reflect my journey up the ladder through the dizzying heights of academia (and some of the rungs are a little wiggly). In the process I hope that those who will read this will get something out of this. The fact is, not everyone experiences graduate school the same way. Some people who struggle in the beginning do really well in the end. Others who sail in the beginning struggle to focus on their project. Some people struggle from the day they step through the door of the science building for their orientation to the day they leave after handing their thesis. A good portion may not even make it to their thesis, or their prelims. Yet others just make it with no trouble at all, from the beginning to the end. Understanding this, I often come across people who struggle through graduate school in many different ways. I am a major struggler. This is my first year. In my first semester, I tried finding help via google, and as mentioned above, found very, very little info about other people's experiences in grad school. As a result (among other things) I felt very, very alone.

This is my 2nd semester. I have taken steps towards becoming a healthier, better graduate student, but it's not an overnight transformation. I decided that I am far enough removed my first semester trauma to start this blog reflecting my experiences, and the things I've done right and wrong. As scientists we are always in training. It is important to be reflective, although it seems that being personal about it is discouraged.

Anonymity isn't my overall goal but I make an effort to be cautious about the information I do give (academia is a small small world). I am currently a first year PhD student in a Large Midwestern University studying Microbiology who came from a Cheap Commuter University in Boston. In my 3rd 5 week rotation I found my home lab. I love the work I am doing. All I ever want to do is research. But the first semester, as I mentioned, was extremely difficult between rotations and courses.

I wonder if it's a common feeling among 1st year graduate students, feeling like a "misfit" of sorts. I struggled in my classes and scored pretty below average on exams. I also found that it is unusual among people here to have ADD like I do. In my undergrad there were plenty of people with learning disabilities who went on to great things (one is even applying to vet schools!) but here I found so much more pressure to hide it. Well it's hard to hide, since I'm often forgetful and sometimes fail to link the major concepts either implied or outright extrapolated by various professors. I also feel as though I progress slower than I should despite my 10 hour days in the lab. I don't really blame my undergrad preparation, since my credentials are laced with prestigious fellowships and decent research and better than average grades. I got plucked from an "average" university and got placed in a class consisting mostly of top ten students. I probably also felt a bit burned out since I came here straight after undergrad and probably would have benefited from the break of a year off (that was out of the question for other personal reasons).

Although I have a long ways to go, as I mentioned, I am in a much better situation now. I will expand on this in future posts. But what do I want you, the reader, to get out of my posts, is that you're not alone. Even if you are the low student in your class, you are definitely not alone. Professors will tell you that, but if it takes a fellow student to help you to believe this, here. I'm in your boat.

Those who struggled are welcome to comment. Those who didn't struggle are also welcome to comment on your observations. Please be kind. Please be real.