Pilots are only now allowed to openly take antidepressants and keep their jobs. When people ask me why I am not more open about my mental health (or occasional lack of thereof) THIS sort of thing is why. And in the context of academia, even if by law I can get reasonable accommodations, I need to feel comfortable that I am not going to be stigmatized by the department before taking advantage. I feel bad for those in other industries that are forced to suffer in silence. I feel perfectly safe riding in an airplane with a pilot being treated by an antidepressant, in fact, I feel even more safe flying regardless of the pilots mental condition than I do driving a car anywhere because pretty much anyone and their dog can get a license provided their of age and passed a road test. What are the odds for a fatal accident on the way to the grocery store? Much higher than getting on a dumb airplane.

As for academia I am pretty sure depression is very common, but how have people become so good at hiding it? I feel like I have gotten off easy in the depression aspect. I'm not inherently depressed and I actually don't take medication for it. But never say never because I am hypersensitive and it's hard for me to adjust to new surroundings and expectations. I often get frustrated when I misinterpret things. And I do that a lot. I am not good at transitioning from work-mode to study-mode and then back to work-mode. Yes it means I'm *gasp* bad at multitasking. However did I get this far? I'm actually not sure myself. I think I got good at one thing, then gradually took on more responsibilities. I got "good enough" and then when I had to start all over, I forgot how to get good at something again. BLAH.

Anyways I'm drifting off topic. I sort of lost sight of my goals this week. My goal is to get my butt back on track today.